Monday, August 11, 2008
A Time To Mourn And A Time To Dance
I just came in from mowing. I'm tired. When things are on my mind, I want to be outside. Outside is a little bit closer to God. When I first found out about my nephew last Tuesday, I went outside and cried. I stayed out there for hours. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of my family, as I know and feel their grief...as well as my own.
God tries to prepare us for things like this....but there is no easy way through it. When we know our loved one is saved, we should be happy for them that they are now in their true and eternal home. A far better one than here where we are. But I feel selfish, I don't want him to be gone so soon. I wanted to see him again, and give him a hug. He always had a smile that lit up the whole room! He was kind, and had gentle eyes. I remember picking black berries with him and Rick, riding horses bare back, coming back from a hike through the woods with ticks all over us, and the time he and Rick went swimming in the pond...the one their Mom told them not to! I wasn't in on that one, but did see the leeches all over them! We all will miss JD so very much.
In the Bible when someone died, they would tear their clothes and rub ashes all over their face...which was the way they mourned.
1TO EVERYTHING there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven:
2A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted,
3A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build up,
4A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6A time to get and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away,
7A time to tear and a time to sew, a time to keep silence and a time to speak,
8A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
Did you notice before a death, is a time to be born? After weeping...we see laughing...and after mourning is dancing. There is time for mourning. But there is a time to stop....to laugh and dance. No one is immune to life nor death.
Years ago when my husband and I lost our new born baby, I was devastated. I went through denial, then anger. These are both natural stages to go through. One thing that bothered me most, was when people would say they were sorry about my miscarriage. My answer was, "I didn't miscarry...I had a baby." I held a small angels hand, and watched her breath every small breath for 3 days. She was too small to take a temperature the normal way, so they would lay the thermometer under her. Which was cold, and would make her mad. She would scrunch up her little face, open her mouth to cry...and not a sound came out. But we knew if she could have cried, we would be hearing her!
After she died, I went into a deep depression. It was a darkness that wanted to consume me forever. Had it not been for God, I think I would have been. Then there was my daughter, Kimberly. At the time of Krissie's death, we explained to Kimberly that her little sister was in heaven, and would not be coming home as we thought. We told her that we would sure miss her, but knew that someday we would see her again.
Kimberly was only six or seven at the time. I was so absorbed with my own grief, that I didn't see that she needed me. I thought she was all right. A few weeks later, a dear neighbor called me. She very gingerly told me that Kim was having problems with the death of her sister. The kids on the bus that she rode to school with, told her that her sister was dead. She would get angry and say, "NO, she's just at the hospital, she will be coming home."
I talked to her that day as soon as she got home from school. We were outside in the front yard. She sat down on the ground as I talked to her about her sister. As I tried to explain to her what death was, she began pulling the grass out of the ground...in big clumps. My mourning time was over, I needed to support my little girl. We did something that helped her quite a bit. She drew Krissie a picture with crayons, and wrote her a letter. We talked about heaven, and how her little sister was just fine. Healing takes time, and tears help the healing process. It's all right to cry:) But through the storms, there will be a rainbow! Look for it....it's God speaking to you and telling you your loved one is fine, he or she just lives in a different place than you.
Losing someone is hard. But I know where JD is. I wrote a little note to his Dad and Mom, and told them that I knew JD was on another adventure! I can just see him! This time without ticks or leeches:)
To Jay and Lindsay...I know how much your Dad loved you both! When I see you two, I see him:) I love you!
*We celebrated JD's life this past Saturday. We reminisced of all the fun and adventures we had with him. I had written this article above, a little each day starting on July 21st....over a period of a few weeks. Could never quite finish it. I still don't believe it is finished. There is more to write.