Wednesday, January 30, 2008

A Little Of This And That


Just a little bit about me, whom I usually never discuss. I had worked for a marketing firm for about 8 years or so. 
I enjoyed the job immensely. I had a local route which I was responsible to take care of on a weekly basis.. The stores were within a 50 mile radius from my home.  I had a good rapport with the manager's.  My job also entailed being able to drop everything and go at a 
moments notice anywhere in the United States. At the time my youngest daughter was in High School, so this 
worked out fine. My husband was always home at night, so a few weeks of my absence was no problem. My youngest daughter also worked for the same company on her summer's off from school. My oldest daughter worked there as well.  As a matter of fact, she 
was the one that hired my youngest daughter and me:)  During this time, I was able to go to the East and West 
Coasts, as far south as New Mexico, and many other states in between.  This was the part I loved! I was able
to see states that I would have never been able to go to!  The most humorous story I can remember, was when I was on the East Coast.  We went to every state within a two week period to various drug stores. One of the employees of one of those stores referred to me as "the foreigner".  I overheard her talking to one of her fellow workers about me.  Of course I, being the curious one, asked her why she thought I was a foreigner. Her reply 
was so hilarious! She said because of my accent! I told her I was from Illinois, and a United States Citizen. She asked if Illinois 
was in the United States:)  She also said she had a hard time understanding me. I too had a hard time understanding 
them. 

When my youngest daughter was close to graduating from High School, my Mother had a stroke. This was seven and a half years ago.  She had to go to a nursing home for therapy, as she lost all motor skills. 
She wasn't able to talk or even feed herself. After a few months, she steadily gained back her skills. The only thing
she required was a walker. She hated it so much in the home, I decided to take care of her.  I continued working, but soon found
that I could no longer go on the trips.  I'm sure that didn't go over well with the powers to be.  By this time my oldest daughter had gone onto a better job. I eventually had to quit the job that I loved so much. But it had gone through many power struggles, and those directly over me were not management material.  How I had wished I had taken the promotion that was offered to me, but was afraid to 
since I was still caring for Mom.

I later found a job working with the developmental disabled. This was a full time job, but I was able to work the 3:00pm-11:00pm shift. However on week ends, I had to be in at 7:00 am, after not getting home until 11:30 from work the night 
before!  Talk about tired! It had always been my dream to go to college and get a degree in Special Education, 
instead I got married. So this was a job that got me close to what I had always wanted to do, plus still be able to care for Mom. The down side to this job, was that mostly I cooked, gave baths, passed 
meds, and got them ready for bed. There was hardly no time to breath, let alone have any quality time with the residents. But how I loved each and every one of them! They all had various degrees of disabilities. Some had 
Paranoid Schizophrenia, Autism, Down Syndrome, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), to name just a few learning disabilities.  The youngest resident was 20, on up to 80 something! Each and 
everyone of them still holds a special place in my heart. I came from this job, owing them a debt of gratitude for all that they 
had taught me. After 8 months, I quit this job, for various reasons. But I will never quit the residents that I had 
grown to love.

My last day of work was December 23, 2007. I knew without a shadow of doubt, that God had led me there to work. I also knew when God had released me. Mom continued going down hill. Sometimes complaining of chest pains, but refusing to go to the doctor. Mom had always been sharp as a tack mentally. She had me beat! But we saw that she was now getting forgetful. I had been so tired from my last job, I thought that surely I would get rested up. But instead I was 
getting more.tired. I was now spending more time with Mom, because she needed me to. I told God one day, 
that I was tired....and that I needed Him to help me. 

On January 17Th Mom told us all that she wanted to go to a nursing home. She was scared at night, even with her little dog Hannah protecting her. We lived next door, but even this didn't reassure her. Several of us offered for her to come live with us, but she refused. We told her to think about it until that following Monday...and if she still wanted to, we would go look for a nice home.

On January 21, 2008 Mom still wanted to go to a nursing home. So my husband, sister, and brother in law went looking for one. We decided on the one she had been in 7 and a half years ago. We talked to Mom on what we had found. There was a vacancy, so my sister later signed all the papers.

After getting back on that Monday the 21st, from looking at homes....I received a phone call from one of my co-workers from my previous job. She gave me horrible news. James, one of the residents who I loved so dearly, passed out that morning. One of the employees gave him CPR, as his heart had stopped beating. An ambulance
was called, and he was taken into a nearby hospital. They found that he had a clot in his leg, which went up to his lungs. The machines which were keeping him alive, were being shut off as she and I were talking. I was devastated and cried for hours. Mom called, and I told her about James, and she consoled me.

Just a few hours later, Mom called me again. This time to tell me she was having chest pains again. My husband and I went next door, and as soon as I saw her...I knew this one was worse than the others. I called an ambulance, asking her permission. She agreed. The first thing the doctor suspected was a clot in the lung. The very thing that I knew James had just died from 2 hours earlier. We were also in the same hospital, and as I sat there, I wondered if James was still there somewhere. We stayed with Mom from 7:00 pm until 1:00 am the next day in emergency. After multiple tests (x-rays/MRI/blood tests/EKG) the doctor found several suspicious areas in the colon. He told
us that she may be bleeding internally from polyps, and hoped it hadn't turned into cancer.  They gave her two bags of blood.  The bleeding and lack of oxygen in her blood, caused her heart to have spasms...in other words "angina". She refused a colonoscopy, which could stop the bleeding if it were just a polyp.  Even though she was reassured it was a minor ordeal to go through "these days".  Medicine has advanced since her last one many years ago.  She still refused.

She came home a few days later from the hospital, and was having doubts about going to the nursing home. I told her that since she was bleeding internally that I wanted her somewhere where there was medical care. She finally agreed reluctantly.  She has now been there for almost 3 weeks, and doesn't like it at all. But I know that they will keep an eye out for her medical conditions, and the doctor will be coming in once a month to 
see her. I love my Mom so very much. I'm glad I was able to help for as long as I did. I do not regret a thing. I know 
she is being cared for,  and for this I'm grateful. Mom has not been an easy person to deal with, but I know God 
loves her..
AND SO DO I.

So far, I'm still tired:)

 

4 comments:

krk said...

SUSIE,
SO MOVING
LOVE YOU krk

Susie said...

It's from my heart, thank you KRK...you are such a blessing to me!

Everyday Housewife said...

Hi Susie!
Thank you so much for the little bio.
You're such an interesting person.
God bless you so much.

Susie said...

Thank you everyday housewife for your comment! However, I'm not interesting at all...just someone with many faults...trying to make sense of things. Mostly I can't, which is why I write:)
God bless you too!